It goes

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

MOMENTS, that took my breath away, i feel that maybe in my life the biggest moment will be, winning my first gold medal in swimming. And maybe other medals also. but i think the greatest one for me now, will be the lost i had, to something that i felt never existed. And yup it didn't just took my breath away, it stops it.

Since its gone, lets stop talking about it also

I realised i like to blog out my thoughts, rather than what happen in my daily life, because i always feel bored reading about people's daily life. So as not to bore my handful amount of reader, i will give them my thoughts of excitement or just simply my boring thoughts.

Today's thoughts will be about losing something, i feel that losing make u improve the most, mentally and physically. Lets just take dota for example,

If u really ask me how many games i played in my life, i really cannot tell because dota is like a cigarette to me in the past. But what i learn from it, teamwork and communication is very important, sometimes having a bad start doesn't mean u will lose the game. I feel myself as an average player, I lost many, won many. I feel that i improved the most in dota is when i keep losing to one of my fren's team, I don't like to feel humiliated by getting trash so bad, therefore after that i did train hard and play hard just to be of a certain standard. I still have average skills but at least able to win more games now.

When i mean train in dota, i really did go train, not just keep playing. I watch replays to study item build, I watch what is the timing for each attacks, i really did do all of that! Crazy? Maybe there are more crazy people. If i ask myself why did i do all of that, I will just say, simply just to win. We all do crazy things to win, but for me, I like winning in a fair way, I don't cheat, try to hack etc.

But after that i realised, dota is best improved as a team, i need to have good friends to team with me in order to be good, but i realised maybe i treat the game too serious in the past, If any of my dota mates are reading this, I would like to say i'm sorry for scolding u all when we play, You guys play this for leisure, but i still scold u all. The reasons that i scold u all, perhaps is more of "i don't like to lose games", and some times i do feel i put in 120% effort in playing but u guys just seems to give up even before we lose. It does irritates me, but at the end of the day, i only blame myself for losing the game, because usually i play the carry(which means the one who is the strongest at the later part) .

I do agree that people play dota for different reasons, maybe for me alone, even if i don't verbally admit it. But the fact that I can like totally own(trash) the game does boost my ego. Perhaps thats the fact that make me talk like i very cocky, and i don't just mean dota, maybe other things also. But the fact is, I am cocky sometimes, but only in the game or to my closer friends. But for friends I just use it as a joke, to strangers, (or people who don't know me well enough) its just my "bad english" that cause me to be this way.

Perhaps this post can allow people who hates dota (Eilly dan or other girls) to understand the mentality of a player who played the game. For my case, i feel that since poly year 2 , I play dota only to play with my friends, maybe girls who don't play it will not understand but its a game that improve friendships. Frankly speaking if I never play dota, i won't know good frens like doomie, xy, peizhi, and many more. As a matter of fact i won't even talk to them, but now they are like gay partners to me lol.

But now after i stop playing dota because of my regrets, I have alot of time to think, this is why I have so many blog post recently lol. So is it a good choice to quit?

"O.Tsubasa is currently injured!" Its a inside thing lol.

Now i guess, instead of spending time on the games that i play in the past, i will use it to do something else. Use it to self-improve and self-educate. To reach that target that i really want to hit, to attain knowledge, wisdom, fitness and last one which i certainly don't have now, Happiness.

Quote of the day("Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.")Quoted by Kate Winslet